Part 6: Accidents of Fate
by FluffyGlitterPantsDragon
Summary: Story number 6 in my Scrubs/Lucifer crossover insanity. I suggest not reading this one by itself, otherwise all are one-shots and one 2 chapter fic. 1-Pudding Cousins, 2-Bajingo Club 3-Lucifer Interrupted, 4-Sanguine Heart, 5-Why We Can't Have Nice Things


Title: Accidents of Fate

Lucifer/Scrubs

Because I can't seem to leave this alone.

"What did you do?"

Lucifer eyed Chloe but didn't answer right away.

They sat side-by-side on the piano bench under the lights of Lux. Cigarette smoke curled over an ashtray on the polished black wood. They hadn't opened for the night, so only the regular bartender, Patrick, wandered in and out of the back, preparing for the coming crowd.

Chloe wasn't taking his stony silence as a valid response.

He sighed, swirling his whiskey, debating on what to say. She probably had an angry text or two from Carla. Daniel too, likely. It had been two weeks without word from anyone at the hospital. Lucifer was beginning to worry he'd burned all of their mortal brains out with the sudden incident. He said before that the wings had a mind of their own, and it made it want to cut them off all over again.

Kind of.

"Pass me one of those, would you?" Cox planted himself next to the piano on the side. Both turned in surprise as it wasn't easy to sneak up on either of them, especially in an empty club. The doctor eyed the ashtray with the smouldering tobacco. "Those things will kill you, you know."

Cox picked up a glass and poured it himself when Lucifer didn't move right away. Dr. Cox wore after-hours clothes, jeans and a plain button up shirt. "Can't one stubborn asshole track another stubborn asshole down without drama? How have you been, Satan?"

Chloe leaned to look at him over Lucifer's shoulder. "Should I go?"

Cox took a drink, making a pleased noise. "I could get used to this," to Chloe, he added, "that depends on if you're in the mile-high club. And I'm not talking about modern air travel."

She squeezed Lucifer's wrist. "Yeah, he told me he freaked you guys out."

Cox did not look appeased. "By what?" he asked, drawing it out and giving her a significant look with guarded blue eyes.

She leaned away from Lucifer, rolling her eyes. She could have added a verbal response, but she just stood up and made a flapping motion with her hands.

Lucifer cleared his throat. "She knows. As does Daniel, and now you lot. Carla, her husband and a few others. It's exactly why I didn't want to go to a hospital in the first place. I can't seem to stop contaminating the world you live in."

"Where is 'Daniel' anyway? Aren't the three of you entangled? Jordan asked if she could join the club, by the way. Didn't tell her about _Michael_ situation."

Chloe snort-laughed into her hand while Lucifer made a face. She patted Lucifer's shoulder. "He means the movie. And we aren't taking applications."

Lucifer grumbled, "like _he'd_ ever do any of that. I'm the one with the booze and smokes. Michael is perfectly content to stay in the Silver City and be near Dad. And that's not how _any_ of the rest of it works. At all. It's much more likely that 'Michael' from the movie was some sort of Cherubim gone insane."

"I'm amazed you've actually seen it," she squeezed his shoulder again and let go. "Dan is watching Trixie tonight, but yeah, he'd be here otherwise. Sometimes we take turns watching her so the other person can get in a date night or something. Sometimes we get a sitter."

Cox snorted. "Usually Jordan just drops off Jack and tells me about it later."

"Oh? You have uh, a third too?"

"Not exactly no. More open. At least on her end. I'm too busy to chase strange," he looked down at Lucifer. "I don't have the constitution of the otherworldly, despite my claims otherwise." he took another sip. "It works."

Lucifer stopped playing. "If you've just come out to chat, not that it's unwelcome, but Lux will start ramping up in an hour or so."

Cox put his hands in his pockets, jaw working.

It was fairly obvious to Lucifer he preferred asking straight-forward questions and getting solid answers. Lucifer waited for him to work out what he wanted to ask.

"How exactly does an angel of the Lord get hurt in the first place? Todd believes you're a superhero, and you have no idea how much more I would like that answer. Except for the part where that means you don't know who is in Hell and I have to kick you out of my narrow pool of people I actually like because that would make you a raging asshole instead of a regular one." He took a deep breath, and another sip of whiskey. "'Course, that also means there are super villains too, which will make my life and the lives of everyone in the hospital significantly more difficult."

Chloe didn't like the cigarette smoke and it looked like they needed a minute. She took a seat in a booth a few feet away, leaving them to talk, but hanging nearby.

Lucifer didn't smoke much when Chloe was around. The pleasant high was tempered by his lungs burning a little. It was one of the reasons he didn't enjoy it as regularly as when he first moved to L.A. to retire. He glanced over at his new maybe-not friend. "I'm neither superhero, nor villain. Well, not the comic ones anyway. I do know where souls go, if I'm present at the time of their mortal deaths, but I'd suggest you not ask, as I don't lie."

"I knew Jordan had spent some time with the Devil but I didn't think it was literal. I wanted to make sure you hadn't died in the few months that passed since you've left the care of my not totally incompetent staff. Since that's apparently a thing now, Satan in some kind of mortal danger. Think you'll come back? Kelso has been eyeballing your plaque so hard his face is going to freeze in a weird state. It'd be fun to see how he'd react to another one."

Chloe snorted over checking her texts.

Lucifer plinked a few keys, not immediately answering his first question. "I'm glad you still seem functional. I used to think exposure to the Divine breaks humans, but all of you seem to have survived or recovered pretty well. I assume your Chief wasn't told the whole truth?"

"Not that he would believe it. Though Kelso is probably not getting into Heaven so maybe it's better that he doesn't. Still not getting the angel wings on Satan thing."

"So, you spoke to your surgeons? Daniel's cousin, Carla?"

"What I could get out of them. Todd won't say a damn thing, not even to Dr. Wen, who really wanted to know how so much anesthesia got burned through in one night. I had to break down and tell Carla's husband that I thought I saw something, and the bastard still insisted I talk to you. He's been spending more time with his patients by the way, pre- and post-op."

Lucifer shot his drink. "You make it sound like it's not a good thing." He watched Cox carefully. Priests and preachers; he generally knew what to expect. Doctors not so much. Dr. Linda wasn't the same kind of doctor, but the more intelligence a human possessed, the easier they seemed to deal with him. Probably something to do with learning and rational thinking instead of the Blind Faith of some religious folk.

Cox shook his head. "Not when it means he'll burn himself out faster in his career. Doctors _can't_ waste time worrying about their patients' afterlife. Not when it impacts their care in the here and now. It's hard enough keeping these bastards alive without stopping to wonder what's going to happen to them after they leave the hospital, one way or another. Carla seems alright, she's always rolled with the punches, but-"

A touch of a grin touched Lucifer's lips. "An Espinoza. Their offspring takes after her father that way," He shot a look at the doctor. "But, John?"

"Who?" He made a face,"oh, _Dorian_? He doesn't exactly _want_ to talk to you, but he should. He's put up a wall and it's making it harder for him to do his damn job. So I need _you_ to fix it. Normally a pep talk from Gha-from Turk fixes everything right up, but hard facts that aren't supposed to be have been throwing him for a loop."

"Me? You don't have a problem re-exposing him to the Devil?"

"I don't know what your game is, but it clearly doesn't involve taking over the world. Wherever your resources come from, you could have left the hospital on the hook for your visit, but you more than paid for it. I'm not accusing you of being altruistic or anything, but I'm preferring whatever you are now to whatever Laverne thinks you are. Or what she would think if she thought you were telling the truth."

"Ah, yes. She's quite delightful. She offered me a chocolate chip cookie a patient's mother delivered. Of course, she didn't believe me, but I'm used to that."

"Really? You like her? Wait, she _shared_ patient gift cookies? She usually hoards those things like zombies are locking down the city. Or I guess, like the second coming is happening any day. Son of a _bitch_. Is it?"

He nodded. "Friendly woman. Judgy, but friendly. To answer your question, no, there will not be a second coming as there wasn't a _first_. You are safe from Dad while on earth. He does love you all. Or did, once. I haven't talked to Him in a very long time, and I don't desire to."

Cox came around to sit on the bench. "Hard to believe. And yes, I realize who I'm talking to. Do you know which way I'm going? Where Ben is?"

"I don't know where you're going. What I told John is true, doctors don't end up in Hell often. When they do it's due to corruption or negligence. Or both. I imagine you know a few such now. There's no little bar floating over your heads with point values. I have a good feeling about you though, Carla and the others. It's nothing to bet on, however."

"So past deeds don't exempt you, huh? It's not a good/bad scale?"

"I'm not the one who decides. Neither is whoever is running Hell now. I'd guess as long as you don't deliberately withhold treatment because of non-medical reasons or murder a patient, you'll be fine. But don't hold me to that. Part of my job in Hell involved determining where souls end up staying, whether or not they deserve or require additional punishment. There are levels and layers and sections as Dante suspected, but they're not the same as what he laid out."

Cox snorted. "How about your girlfriend? She gets a special pass?"

Lucifer inhaled sharply. "Right to the point, are you?"

Chloe looked up sharply from her phone. She answered, "No, I don't. We haven't talked that much about the future anyway. Heaven or Hell." Her lips went flat.

Dr. Cox fiddled with his glass. "Ah, if you end up in Heaven, he doesn't, does he?"

Lucifer played something soft and slow. He frowned but didn't let it touch his eyes. "No, I don't. I can't follow any of them."

Chloe cocked her head and looked in the direction of the front door, hearing something. "Hello?"

A hunched figure half in shadow wore a jacket over blue scrubs, hesitating at the edge of light, leaning on a railing. "Hey."

Lucifer played on. "You have a good friend here, John. I feel a little bad about pushing you that first time. I was annoyed at you and your other friend and took it out on you a bit. I'd ask if there are any hard feelings, but apparently there are."

Cox looked questioningly.

"I don't have my Devil face, but I still have Hellish powers. I might have picked on John a little when he and his friend crashed the party."

"So that's where you went. Serves you right. Wait, face?"

"My wings are the _nice_ thing to witness. The Detectives are rather fond of them." Chloe blushed bright red, ducking her head a little lower over her phone. Lucifer grinned, then it faded. "I had another version of myself that is quite...harrowing. Stuff of nightmares, really. For whatever reason, I cant access it currently, and I wouldn't bring it out if I could."

"Huh," Perry Cox spent half a second trying to picture that, then gave up since he had nothing to reference, making it moot either way. Lucifer liked that about him, very pragmatic.

The Devil directed his question at the newcomer. "Would you like a drink, John? Anyone else lurking about back there?"

J.D. joined Chloe in the booth, on the other end of the curved couch around a table, stiff and uncomfortable. "Not unless Turk followed me. He's in surgery though, so I doubt it."

"I heard you wanted to talk to me?" he prompted.

"Well, I heard most of what you already talked about," he sounded tense.

"I know."

He jumped a bit. "You do?"

"I look human, but I'm not. I have the low-light vision of a cat, only better."

"You kind of look like a cat too. Are you-"

"No, all my siblings began with similar qualities and abilities. Mine are slightly better, as are Michael's. Strictly angelic, no mixing of species."

J.D. blinked.

"The origin of your middle name, yes. Not my favorite, but that's not your fault either. I suppose your parents picked it."

The young doctor smiled weakly. "Yeah, my dad choose it after his dad. My brother Dan got something boring too." He peeked over at Chloe's phone, unwinding a little. He asked, "I don't suppose I could get an appletini?"

Lucifer shuddered. "I _suppose_ I could get you one," he looked for Patrick, who had left to give them talking space when Cox showed up. "Or make you one myself."

"I mean, the bar we usually go to probably had the best ones, but-" he shrugged, as if he had no idea how much he was casually insulting Lucifer. He probably didn't. Intelligent, young, and naive made for interesting combinations.

Lucifer swore lightly and went to the bar. Cox looked at the keyboard. He threw a comment over his shoulder, "pour it light. He likes them that way."

He rummaged around under the bar counter, making a face over a bottle of green apple schnapps. "You're kidding."

"Never. I don't kid. Not about alcohol. Not much else either."

Chloe noticed J.D. trying to get a look at her screen. She put her phone on the table casually. She had a photo of the four of them as her lock screen, mostly visible under the floating icons. Dan hugging her, Lucifer being hugged involuntarily by Trixie. They were all smiling, if Lucifer the least amount, wearing an expression of long-suffering while small arms wrapped around his waist. J.D. carefully edged the phone to an angle to see the screen better. "Definitely not a vampire then?" he tried to sound light.

Chloe blinked. "Huh?"

He tried again, "your kid really likes him, doesn't she? Trixie, right?"

She tried not to smile too widely at her tactics working. "Yeah, she adores him. Always has. She knows too. I think she knew from the day they met, three years ago. Seems like a lot of kids do. Not that he meets many."

He thought about asking the question. She saw it written all over his face. So she answered it. Carla never asked, but Turk did. Chloe nodded at Lucifer. "Yeah, I trust him with my kid. So does Dan. Lucifer still hasn't entirely mastered being around her, and Satan won't admit it, but I think he loves her too. He's not evil."

Chloe helpfully nudged her phone closer to him, unlocking it first. She showed him a photo of Lucifer, knees tucked up under himself in front of her couch. Trixie hovered nearby with a toy first aid kit, wrapping one of his (unhurt) fingers in an overabundance of gauze. Lucifer looked on, bemused, unguarded. "She sometimes talks about becoming a doctor. She looks up to her aunt Carla."

The main subject of the photo slid a martini in front of J.D., less horrifically green than what he was likely used to with a sugared apple slice floating in the middle. "Detective! You promised not to show that photo!"

Cox perked up from playing something Sinatra on the piano. "What's that?"

Chloe grinned. "I made no such promise. I'll send it to you later, Dr. Cox."

"Call me Perry."

Lucifer grunted, thinking back to that particular conversation. "Minx. You didn't, did you?"

J.D. sniffed his drink. The rim was set in fine sugar. He took an appreciate sip. "Okay, this is...probably better."

Lucifer muttered, "there's a half shot in the whole thing."

Chloe sniffed it. "Can I try it?"

The doctor smiled. "Sure! They're my favorite. The bar we usually go to usually just starts making me one when I drop in."

Lucifer looked like someone stole his shoes and burned them in front of him. "Detective!"

Chloe smacked her lips. "Oh, that is good. I like it. Sort of like a Cosmo but sour. And sweeter."

Lucifer whined. "You might as well be drinking green Koolaid."

"Straight booze isn't always the best option you know."

"Heathens," he went back to the bar to make Chloe a better version, with less sugar and more booze. And less food coloring.

Chloe and J.D. shrugged at each other. For once, he seemed okay being near Lucifer, let alone the same room with him.

Chloe asked, "how much did you hear anyway?"

He bit the apple slice. "Enough to feel bad. I may have been...hard on Dan."

"You were. He told me."

"Sorry. I wasn't being homophobic, just, uhm."

"A dick?"

His lip twisted. "Yeah, I was a dick. The idea of anyone calling themselves the Devil, on purpose, and wandering around the hospital bothering people...it rubbed me the wrong way. Laverne wasn't impressed, I should have followed her lead."

"And did he bother anyone?" she asked pointedly.

"Not really, no. I really did feel terrible when he needed medical care and no one asked me for help because of my attitude. I've known Carla for years now, I should have trusted her judgement. It's not easy when...Satan just swoops in and just charms the pants off everyone though."

Lucifer let Cox keep playing. He came back from the bar and sat next to Chloe, bringing her the still offensively green drink. She pecked him on the cheek in thanks. He smiled warmly at her, not looking at the cocktails. "So, apparently our new friend was mean to Daniel? He didn't tell _me_ about it."

She leaned against him. "We didn't think you needed to know. Your boyfriend stood up for you though."

"Oh?"

They looked at J.D. at the same time. He swallowed a sip wrong. "So I, uhm, insinuated that Dan was going to hell. For being your, uhm, partner. Which I would have said to her, if she was there instead," he twitched.

Lucifer groaned. "I hope you've learned to be nicer to random people?"

"I mean, assuming everything I ever learned in church was wrong…"

"Well, not _everything_. There is my Dad. He exists. Heaven and Hell. Most of the important stuff. The rules are all over the place if you read the Bible, but basically, 'be nice to each other' is the best and most reliable one. Perry here says I've personally caused you difficulty."

He fidgeted. "I mean, I already worked really hard to keep people from dying. How do I know if I cost someone their chance to _not_ end up in Hell? Because they died too soon?"

"Frankly, you don't."

J.D. bit his tongue.

"But that's not on you. From the sounds of it, though, you seem to be doing better than most of your colleagues at keeping your patients alive. Something I haven't really learned yet myself, is that you can't hold yourself responsible for the choices others make. Even when they aren't true choices, but accidents of fate. You can, however, _act_ on those circumstances."

"Like how?"

Lucifer got out another cigarette and played with it, but didn't light it. "When I came here, I met a woman who became my friend. I didn't realize it at first, since I made deals with her, and I believed that was the reason she came to me time and again. Delilah was murdered in cold blood. Chloe investigated her death, and that's how I came to work with them. I couldn't protect Delilah from the hail of bullets. I didn't have my wings then, and that's one of the things I do regret. But I can't fix it. With all of my powers, I cannot reverse time." Lucifer twined his free fingers with Chloe's, somewhat unconsciously. "I felt her soul depart her body as she died in terror and pain next to me. I only lost a suit with not a scratch otherwise. I'll never see her again, like many others."

J.D. frowned. "Maybe it's the alcohol, but-"

"It's _really_ not."

"-I don't think you're a bad guy. Anymore." He turned the glass around. "All that sounds incredibly sad."

"This, 'Ben' was, what, your friend? Family?"

"Jordan's brother. Died from cancer. Which, I mean, cancer sucks but I get why it happens."

That was a surprise. Most doctors railed against cancer. "You do?"

J.D. nodded, "eventually, if you live long enough either the brain falls apart or cancer gets you. If you don't die of something else first, something random or preventable or another organ failure. My job is basically to make sure that's what happens. Keep you - well, us - from dying _before_ we die of cancer. Cells have to multiply to keep going and replace old cells in the body. Cancer is what happens when that process breaks down and goes crazy. It's kind of depressing, and sometimes hard or impossible to correct, and when it is, it's still very hard on everyone, the patient and their families. Not to mention expensive, even with insurance." He thought about it. "Do you do that? Replace cells?"

Lucifer chewed his tongue. "Dad made me perfect, so that won't happen to me. I do heal, so my body does _some_ of the same processes. I haven't the foggiest idea if my heart is the same one I started with or if my body eventually replaced it with new cells. It does beat and circulate blood." He cocked his head. "When Chloe's nearby, it is important that it works properly. We once stopped my heart so I could make a trip down to Hell. I had to visit someone recently deceased and I didn't have my wings. I couldn't go the usual way, so I had to go the hard way."

"You did what?"

Chloe supplied, "I was dying of a poison. He used a machine in the hospital to shock his heart and stop it. I didn't know it at the time, but he saved my life through risking his own. He doesn't really like to talk about it. They brought him back before he went too long without a heartbeat."

J.D. processed that. Cox tilted his head, looking very interested and butting in. "But the body isn't dead at that point. The brain has to die before true death occurs. We will pronounce a patient dead if they can't regain a heartbeat, since you need that too, but even the heart can be put on bypass if we're fast enough. That's how organs are harvested from whole body donors, if the body is viable but the brain isn't working, to preserve pieces for as long as possible."

Lucifer nodded, "it wasn't true death. Even I don't know what would happen if I died here. I saw Hell once before in a near-death experience, so I assumed I could do it again." He shrugged like it was nothing. "That time, I was shot, fatally, but, well. Dad intervened. I was struck in the stomach, I think, and bleeding out. During the last minute, maybe, I saw Hell. In the hospital, the second my heart stopped with the shock thingy, I was back in Hell again, and able to do what I needed to do. The plan worked."

Chloe muttered, "stupid plan. I wouldn't have let him try it."

"Defibrillator." J.D. forgot about his drink, crossing his arms and leaning forward. "Really dangerous, by the way, for, I guess normal people. I'm with Chloe on the 'stupid plan' part. How long where you like that?"

Chloe clasped her hands while he answered, "I'm told it was a bit more than a minute or two. They were supposed to bring me back after only a minute, but the plan went awry. I was temporarily stuck in Hell and almost didn't make it back at all. If you're ever wondering about that, once in a Hell room, the soul can't go back to the body on it's own."

"Did someone do chest compressions while you, uhm, flatlined? I assume that's what you were going for, rather than an arrhythmia." J.D. frowned in distinct disapproval, chewing his cheek. Probably making plans on what to if other errant angels showed up and just start messing around with their equipment.

"No, I don't think so. I never asked. Everything hurt like hell when I woke up again, but I couldn't tell you if my ribs were broken or not. Things healed up again quickly after that."

"They really should have done compressions to keep blood flowing. But you _seem_ fine." J.D. rubbed his chin. "Did they do an EKG at Sacred Heart? I'd like to see it. Anyone stick you with electrodes?"

Lucifer thought back, "not sure about that either. You'd have to ask Turk, since he cut into me and I was out for a while."

"I wish I'd seen that. I'm not Surgical, but I've had some training. I couldn't see the x-rays either, since Turk deleted them. The wings must mean there were more bones to cut around, but just looking at you, it doesn't seem like there are any... " His eyes unfocused, chasing down some other mental path.

Cox noticed, but didn't draw attention to it.

Lucifer kissed Chloe on the corner of her lips and went back to the piano. He spoke to Dr. Cox. "Did you have any questions too?"

He shook his head again. "Nothing that I wouldn't prefer answered with you in an MRI machine and a ton of x-rays. I'm guessing that's out of the question. _Did_ your wings show up on an x-ray? How do they fit in you, Chicken Man?"

He smirked. Normally, he wouldn't speculate, but Cox sounded genuinely interested. "They reside in, well, 'fleshy wing pockets'. They compress, with the vast majority of the feathers existing in some other space. They'd never fit otherwise, and I don't believe they entirely shrink in size and expand. Chloe had me do a few experiments, and to her, they look like they just fold out full size." he shrugged. "But some aspect of them travels with me in my body too. When Maze cut them off at the roots, they were well and truly gone for years."

Perry offered, "it wouldn't be a bad idea to have some records available if you get hurt _again_ , since it seems possible. I'd give just about anything to get my hands on a cut off wing."

"I'm sure you would. As for records, only if I kept them myself, with no copies at the hospital. I'd prefer not to have anyone else involved with this," he sounded reluctant though, even with that.

"Makes sense. But you know you're risking your own life if you show up without Dan or Chloe, and whoever takes care of you doesn't know about you?"

"I know. I'd rather take that risk."

Chloe frowned. "I could keep them. The copies. I wouldn't even let Ella look at them."

Dr. Cox chuckled. "You're in trouble now. You have significant others that may not want you to risk your mortality. Or immortality. Or whatever it is."

J.D. seemed to come out of his fugue. "Having scans of you to compare to modern patients…"

"No." Lucifer said flatly. Then considered, "I suppose I could always send Amenadiel over. He's basically human now."

Chloe glanced up. "He _might_ do that. Nothing angelic would show up for him, right? And he's not invulnerable now, so he could get a blood draw like anyone else, couldn't he?"

Perry asked, "who's that?"

Lucifer answered, "one of my brothers. Another fallen angel, though he didn't climb out of a Pit. He's a little touchy about it though. But he might cooperate."

"Might provide a good baseline if you do show up again. We don't have to put it under his name, just bury it in the system under another John Doe. If we do need it, it might be harder to dig up again, but it would be there. But I'm kind of dying to know what your lungs look like with all that smoking, even if they heal."

Lucifer eyed J.D. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah. I don't suppose I could see them again? The wings?"

"Sorry, Carla got to see them again, but it's a special privilege."

"Are they functional? Can you actually fly?"

"I can. But I generally don't."

"I really want to see what that looks like in a wind tunnel."

"I'm sure you do."


End file.
